How to motivate children to meet behaviour standards
If behaviour standards are slipping, there should be only one way to deal with them.
This week, I’ve followed the lead of one of them in my quest to tighten the behaviour expectations in my class… and my students have risen to the challenge.
Read on to find out how we managed it.
Last week was the first since the Easter Holidays.
And when the children come back from the holidays their behaviour is always a little different.
I’m not talking table flipping and swearing. They’ve just been at home for 17 days. For most of that time, they can do what they like - and any standards that do exist are enforced in a manner unique to each parent.
That means that each child’s behaviour expectations, and their enforcement, is different.
30 sets of rules. 30 styles of behaviour management. Total inconsistency.
It’s normal, it’s expected, it’s exactly as it should be.
It just means we need some time to adjust when they come back.
Our first day back was a relative day off as Rock Kidz came to town! This video - even just a snip of it - shows you the level of energy their performance brings. That same energy flows through the children all day and sends them home from the first day of term hyped up to the max.
Then they come in the following day and things are expected to return to normal.
I feel for the children - so often, I just want them to enjoy their childhood. We work them so hard and, when I look at the school days in Finland and Sweden, I wonder whether it’s necessary.
At the same time, I feel for myself.
30 children with 18 days of inconsistent behaviour standards behind them. It’s a tough crowd to work with.
And, if there’s one thing that I struggled with most this time, it’s the talking out of turn.
I have a chatty class. I’ve never shied away from that. And they’ve got tonnes of character, which is what makes the job interesting. It’s the best bit.
And I like that I clearly have something about me that makes them want to speak. If it was a conversation, the words would be flowing effortlessly. I’m actually quite proud of the fact that I have this effect on them.
But my time with them isn’t all about conversations; it’s about lessons, ones that I’m delivering to 30 individuals.
Any teacher will know the feeling - half the class replying to your every sentence is a real headache. Sometimes, they’re not listening to what I’m saying, just waiting for me to pause so they can say the next relevant, interesting, personal or funny comment that comes to mind.
Again, in a conversation this is fine. This shows conversational chemistry. It’s a hallmark of someone in a happy place.
But in a lesson it’s not the behaviour I’m looking for and it makes my job impossible.
So, sadly, I have to crack down on it.
But how?
Part 1 - firm but fair
The first thing I do is remind them of what I’m expecting. We all agreed to a set of classroom expectations at the beginning of the year and one of those was not calling out, while another was listen to others when they’re talking. The children know what I expect.
And, if they’re not delivering it, they must be reminded.
Because of the nature of the environment I’m in, it’s not always practical or easy - or even possible - for me to move silently over to the other end of the classroom to silently speak to a child causing a disruption with their behaviour. I can only maintain the flow of the lesson by cutting them off from a distance. I try not to, but man alive that’s hard.
But it doesn’t work in the long term. I find myself repeating the same reminders to the same students. As often as I can, I will go to the child to speak to them silently about what I expect instead.
Don’t call across the classroom at your children if you can help it. Instead, speak to them privately, encouragingly and - yes - firmly in your attitude that the behaviour standards of the classroom matter and that you’ll make sure they’re met.
That’s when the magic happens.
A quiet word, a reminder about the expectations and a little encouragement to show that you believe the child can meet them, as well as a show of what can happen to the quality of their work and the learning environment when they do, works first time almost every time.
How else does this help behaviour?
The best part about this strategy is that you’re not nagging or yelling at your students. Nagging or yelling at them is a sure-fire way to get on their nerves and disrupt your relationship with them.
On the other hand, a quiet, private word shows them that you’re keen to avoid that. It shows that you care too much to let that relationship break down. It shows that you’re willing to take the slower, longer route to managing their behaviour in a way that spares them being singled out in front of everyone else.
They respect it. They listen. And they improve - quickly.
Has managing behaviour this way worked?
Here’s how I delivered this strategy:
At the end of the tricky week, we ended Friday with an extra break outside. Those children who had maintained the expected standards all week without me needing to say anything got an additional 10 minutes to run around outside.
The rest of the class? They weren’t punished - we went outside and sat on the grass for a little reading in the sun.
But, despite this hardly being a punishment, they saw some of their peers doing something they themselves would rather be engaging in.
I also took this opportunity to circulate around every individual who wasn’t part of the playtime rewardees (is that a word?) and set each of them a personal target to help them earn the reward next time.
I dangled a carrot for them to aim for, but that’s not enough - I also showed them how to catch it.
Up your game, I said, and this will be you next week. Not just on Friday but every day. And here’s how.
Throughout the following week (this week just passed), every child has been permitted an extra break in the afternoon.
Why?
Because the behaviour has improved. All of them, with their own individual behaviour targets and their own level of expectation, has performed better.
This has made them easier to manage, making it easier for their school time to be enjoyable.
It also means there has been better focus on their schoolwork. We’ve written some cracking formal letters; loads of them have hit personal bests in daily arithmetic tests; we’ve been able to enjoy a scientific experiment without much managing on my part.
Much better.
TO sum up…
If behaviour is slipping:
Try and talk to individuals 1-2-1, privately and quietly about it
Dangle a carrot - give them something to aim for
This is the most important part: show them how to get the carrot and they will.
This keeps things positive, supports relationship building between you and your students and helps you achieve higher behaviour standards without punishments.
Here’s another post I wrote recently that I was proud of - How to Inspire Children. It’s a story about how I got my nephew hooked on birds through a fun card game.
Here’s an older post I wrote in November 2023 that changed my perspective on motivation - and taught me something about whole-school change. Without it, I’m not sure this week would have been possible.
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Good stuff. I'd add that teachers must model the behaviour they expect. You're a role model and must treat that as a serious responsibility.
It’s inspiring to see how simply believing in kids (and showing them the way) can spark such a powerful shift in behaviour and learning.