How to fix the toughest parent-child communication challenge now
Are your students struggling to connect with their parents school day? Learn practical ways to enhance parent-teacher communication and foster meaningful conversations at home.
Welcome to How to be a Teacher. Here, I share the expertise of my closest colleagues who have more than 70 years of teaching experience between them. Today, I’m exploring a growing problem for families everywhere and how teachers can fix it.
Disclaimer: I use the term ‘parent’ here, when I know that many children live at home with, and are raised by, other people than their birth parents. When I say ‘parent’, I mean to do so while including all primary caregivers. I realise my choice of the word ‘parents’ appears to prioritise clarity over inclusivity, but I want you all to know that I recognise equally the efforts of everyone raising children. Power to you all.
Parent-teacher communication takes enormous effort and sensitivity – especially when children are reluctant to discuss school.
You’re not a teacher – you’re a parent. And, for the first few years of your child’s life, you spent almost every moment with them. First words and first steps have filled you with pride and joy. It’s been the most rewarding, love-filled few years of your life.
Suddenly, they’re plucked out of their toddler years for formal schooling. For most, that’s it; you’ll never have the same time together as parent and child. It’s one of a parent’s proudest moments - but it’s also one of the toughest.
I don’t have children, but even I can sense what a heartbreaking layer this adds to a seminal episode in their lives. And, although I teach children aged 10-11, I still see from my parent-school communications that most parents want to know every intricate detail about their children’s day, just like they used to.
Parent-child communication over the school day.
Because of the dramatic change to your parent-child dynamic, you understandably want to know everything about their school days:
What’s already happened.
What’s still to come
The environment
Activities
Friendships
Classwork
Teachers
But there’s a communication problem – and it’s getting worse.
Children are spending more time than ever on screens[1], and from a younger age[2]. That’s just one obstacle, but it adds to the challenge parents are facing – connecting with their children at home.
Now, let’s switch back to teacher mode. How can we help?
One classroom update is all it takes to build connections at home
Throughout the school year, many parents face the same problem: my child doesn’t tell me anything about their school day.
Imagine going from spending every waking moment with them to suddenly knowing nothing. That’s heartbreaking.
Despite asking their children, many parents have little knowledge of their progress. They don’t have a clue what the vision is for the class or – more importantly – their child.
For some, the children aren’t talking about school because they don’t want to.
But, for most, it’s because they can’t. ‘How was school?’ and ‘what did you do today?’ are both open-ended questions with infinite answers. The possibilities are endless – and that’s a surefire way to make someone mentally freeze.
That’s where we come in.
I always have parents come to me wanting to know more about their children’s time in school, whatever updates we share. We drip updates throughout the year with photos of their kids in enriching lessons, both on Class Dojo and on our school website. But there’s a lot of onus on them to keep up with that – and I think we can make it easier.
I’ll bet most of you reading this from the UK and the USA use Class Dojo. If not, you should – it’s free, easy to use and it’s the main line of communication between parents and teachers in our school. Plus, it has a one-click translation tool in case you have any parents with little/no English.
And one post on there each week could give these conversations the prompt they need to happen; they need these teacher-parent updates more than ever.
How to make the most of your class update
As well as the fun photos of individual lessons and activities, share a single update listing what you’ll cover over the next week. But what should that look like?
Easy – just answer the following questions:
- What are we learning next in the core subjects?
- What foundation subjects are we focussing on next week?
- What is the most exciting part of the week to come? (Project, school visitors, trips, special events, the weather… schools are full of exciting times, so highlight them.)
- Add a personal touch (Keep it professional but add your personality to it. This is vital in building teacher-parent relationships – they don’t want a robot teaching their children, they want a human being.)
Do this and all the parents in your class have all the information they need to know what’s going on over the next week. They’ll have specific questions they can ask their children find out what they did in school throughout the week. Questions that will be easier to answer and more likely to prompt meaningful discussions between family members.
Best of all – parents will appreciate your efforts to enable these discussions, especially if they have quiet kids who find it a challenge to discuss school.
Here’s one of mine:
Bonus benefit: if children are still reluctant to discuss school, it could mean that they don’t want because something serious is going wrong. Giving parents every opportunity to have conversations with their children can reveal a deeper problem and give you the chance to fix it. Offering this parent-teacher communication early can be what makes school meaningful for these students and solve their disengagement.
What other strategies do you use to help your students discuss school with their parents?
Want more effective communication strategies?
Discover how to start every parent-teacher communication in the best way possible with this post from How to be a Teacher:
How to Start Every Parent Conversation - and Why
One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say - author Bryant McGill, described as a ‘human thought leader’ online.
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Love this post - communication is so important, and can make all the difference to a family like mine where the child (not the parent!) is highly anxious and struggles to communicate.
Great post again, Jack! I wish I had made better use of Class Dojo when I used it. It seems like such an amazing tool for communication!