How to Give Children Belief in Their Powers
Let them cook!
“If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are.” - Dale Carnegie in ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’
Want to be the teacher your students remember fondly? The one they credit for transforming their school years? The one who helped them find themselves?
You’re a teacher—that’s why you chose this job.
So, how do you transform these little lives?
By building relationships.
Strong relationships can make school worthwhile for students. They’re what keep kids coming back even when the material is challenging or their home life is hard. For teachers, perfecting the art of relationship-building is one of the most powerful ways to impact students’ lives.
Today, I want to share one of my favorite methods for building those relationships.
Over the coming weeks, I’ll dive into more strategies but this first lesson comes courtesy of my first mentor. She was one of the most clever and competent educators I’ve ever worked with—someone I also consider a great friend and someone I will always look up to.
Enjoy.
Why, Why, Why?
At my school, we have a special session at 2:20 p.m. every Thursday: Enrichment Clubs.
Each teacher runs a club, welcoming children from all year groups into informal, passion-driven learning spaces. Unlike the usual math or English lessons, these clubs often reflect the teachers’ own interests while tapping into the undiscovered talents and desires of our students.
I’ve run clubs on Bird-Spotting, Spanish, Culture, and Story Writing. My current offer? Philosophy Club.
“Philosophy? With ten-year-olds?” I hear you ask with incredulous skepticism. I can practically see your raised eyebrow.
“Of course,” I reply. “Children are natural philosophers.”
Kids are always asking questions—deep ones, too.
In fact, like Sir Ken Robinson observed about creativity, I feel our education system gradually educates them out of this innate curiosity.
In Philosophy Club, we’ve tackled age-old questions like whether the chicken or the egg came first. We’ve debated whether the school hall—out of our line of sight—is still there and how we can be sure. We’ve explored whether technology should help us keep hold of lost loved ones. One student even shared about losing their father at the age of six, reflecting sagely, that comes for us all: it’s better to learn to let go and move on. Natural philosopher.
Philosophy Club has been the most rewarding club I’ve run so far.
And—by complete accident—it’s helped me forge one of my strongest student relationships to date.
Follow the Leader
This is a story about one student in my class. Let’s call them Child A.
I first met Child A while covering their class last year as they prepared to transition to Year 6.
What did I see?
I saw someone who asked for help the moment they started a task. I saw reluctance and defeatism punctuating their work. I saw lessons that ended with incomplete work and unfulfilled potential.
I inferred that this student might struggle in the year ahead.
How wrong I was.
With a clever seating plan, I have paired Child A with a partner who gives them focus and willing teamwork. Through carefully planned lessons, I see them begin to thrive academically. By observing closely, I have noticed their small acts of kindness toward others.
With trust, I have seen them learn to be more honest, reflective, and brave.
And, best of all, I have seen them lead.
At the start of our first Philosophy Club session, Child A—who was the only student from my class to join (respect!)—asked if they could help teach the lesson. I briefed them on how I wanted to begin, passed them the pointer, and loaded the slides. I trusted them to embrace the opportunity and prepared myself to sit back and see what happens.
And off they went.
With zero hesitation, they stood before their peers and taught.
As a teacher, earning the respect of students isn’t always easy. Getting peers to respect and follow each other? That’s even harder.
Yet there they were: Child A’s classmates hanging on their every word, captivated by their confidence.
Child A’s self-belief has soared. Their engagement in lessons is among the best in the class. Their humor shines brighter than my own thinning hair (which they constantly tease me about).
And, in philosophy, they’ve actually improved the lessons.
They’ve introduced debates about the questions of the day. They’ve suggested a philosopher of the week award. They’ve welcomed others to step up and contribute to running the lessons.
We now have a cast-iron relationship, one that I believe has enriched and improved their school experience.
Why?
“If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are.”
Let me rephrase that:
“If you tell me what makes you feel important, I’ll know what you dream of becoming.”
What does Child A want to be when they grow up?
A teacher.
There’s More
Child A isn’t my first success story.
Another student—Child B—has become my go-to helper during lessons. They wield the “magic ball of hyper-engagement,” throwing it to classmates to choose who answers next. They’ve been in charge of the kitchen timer to help me manage the lessons.
Child B had severe trust and confidence issues in the past, but now? They’re thriving. Recently, they told their mum, “I feel like a new person.”
Then there’s Child C. During Culture Club, they led an entire lesson on their proud homeland of Poland, teaching us phrases, sharing traditional foods, and playing music. At the year’s end, they even gifted me a token of appreciation—a sign of the relationship we’d built.
How to Build the Relationships Your Students Need: Tip #1—Let Children Lead
Empower your students by giving them leadership roles. Here are some ways to start:
• Get them to click slides or point at the screen.
• Let them write answers on the board.
• Hand them the “magic ball” to keep the class engaged.
And my favorite method:
• Let them lead a lesson!
Start small by planning a mini-lesson together. Let them introduce a topic, ask questions, or even facilitate a discussion. The results can be transformative.
When children are empowered to lead, they gain not only skills but also a belief in their ability to shape their world—a lesson they’ll carry for life.
Does this revised version meet your expectations? Let me know if you’d like further tweaks!
Over to You
This year, I’m working closely with three teachers who share over 50 years of experience. Subscribe below and get my posts - full of their best tips - sent straight to your inbox.
Like what you see? Share it with a teacher you know. I hope they’ll be as grateful for the recommendation as I have been.
I love how you’ve empowered your students to lead and take ownership of their learning. This is the kind of teaching that stays with kids forever.
Great post as always, Jack! Some really sound advice too, it really shows the power of relationships!