Bonus Post! All About the Accent

Wait until you hear this...

I’m breaking my new routine and doing a special mini-post today simply because I have a story to tell. One that tickles my funnybone every time I think of it.

This took place during an English lesson. The children were writing a persuasive piece and one of the skills we looked prepared them with was modal verbs.

Modal verbs determine degrees of possiblility and can be positive (can) or negative (can’t). They explain how likely something is to happen. For example:

I will eat your last piece of cake. Boohoo.

The dog didn’t quite make it outside before doing its business.

They couldn’t escape the blood-thirsty cows charging at them from the far side of the field.

(I’m not actually afraid of blood-thirsty cows.)

From these examples, you can see what modal verbs are.

Being from the North of England, however, it’s common to hear these slightly mispronounced. So common we wouldn’t notice unless we were looking for it.

I’m fact, we don’t say ‘wouldn’t’. We say ‘wunt’.

Shouldn’t, in another example, also becomes ‘shunt’ when spoken aloud.

My fellow northerners may already see where this is going.

Now, this particular modal-verb lesson required us to touch on modal verbs having already discussed them the previous week so the children had a few in the bank already.

For a quick recap, we started with a bit of ‘popcorn recall’ - I point to random children as quickly as possible and, with equal swiftness and effervescence, they reply with the answer. Like little popcorn kernels, the bounce and pop left, right and rhubarb, yelling modal verbs my way.

It’s a fun activity and one that creates an inevitable crescendo as the chosen individuals get louder and louder, the excitement fizzing through them.

I point to one and am met with an instant ‘won’t’. Strong start.

A split second later, a second child responds to my signal with ‘don’t’.

More points, more pops. Haven’t. Can’t.

Shunt (spelt shouldn’t but definitely pronounced ‘shunt’).

Aren’t. Might. ‘Wunt’.

The noise rises throughout, the children almost shouting now.

Aren’t again. Didn’t. Will! Should!!

Then, from the front of the classroom, at the top of their lungs, literally leaping from her chair, the last child screams…

‘C***!!!!’

Spelt: couldn’t.

I’ve never found it so difficult not to laugh. For a split second, I tried to restrain myself but everyone in the room knew what had been said and I just couldn’t.

‘Swiftly moving on, erm, talk to your partners and, erm, find the openers in this extract,’ I said, bringing literally any piece of text up onto the screen to distract them.

Then a minute to compose myself again.

Hands down, one of the funniest moments of my career so far. I hope I never forget about that.